I think I’m somewhat brave…

There was a crazy fight at St. Marks right after we closed. I saw people gathering upstairs so im like hey Jimmy whats happening, I walked up a little bit and I’m like oh shit, its a fight! Huge crowd just watching and Mark was at the top of the stairs. I only caught the end of the fight but at that point one of people got suplexed on the asphalt by another guy. He literally folded like a chair, I don’t know if his neck was broken or what and then they kicked him in the face twice. He was just laying there in the middle of the street. I cudn’t just watch, I wanted to break it up and I hurried to the guy that was on the ground, (wishing in my head that Jimmy or Mark are walking behind me just in case when somebody wants to take a swing at me I got someone at my back) his eyes were wide open but he was out cold. Another guy ran up and I grabbed his legs while he grabbed his arms and we carried him to the side. Worst thing I could have done, you should never move a person who’s neck might be hurt, but I wasen’t thinking. I didn’t even think enough to check for vital signs. I don’t know if he died or not, i’m stupid, I could have saved a life or I might have just as well taken it away. Well in any case, I heard the story later from Mark. The guy who was hurt on the street was part of a group of 10 people who ganged up on one person. They were taking shots at him and what not. Then randomly 5 heroes run up, not affiliated with the guy getting beat up at all and they jump on the 10. The 10 just disperses and the ones who get caught, liek the guy that got hurt, get really heavily messed up. I don’t know what to think, if the guy died, its not right to take a life ever, but wth was his problem ganging up on 1 person, hell I would beat the crap out of him too. 

Me without you is like church without the truth
A house without a roof, MC without a booth
Or maybe should I say a verdict without proof
A baller without loot, a plant without roots

I don’t spread shit around…

but i need to talk about this. I don’t feel well. I can’t believe it all burst so suddenly. Its like, an excuse was all that was needed to destroy it all. Me CARING is what dug my grave. Well, im better than most, there is no one like me but me. So if you want to go and give it to people that you will just have fun with but who will not give you a thought once they leave your presence then fine. Mark said, you either chase and beg and fight or you give up and I told him, for her sake I think I need to give up…he said “damn you’re strong, you’re so strong kid”. I don’t know what to do. Jimmy has been the most understanding. I don’t need words and he gives me none, he just gives the occasional  hows everything and inside he wants to say more but he doesn’t know what. I myself don’t know what to say. But I don’t want special treatment. So thanks Jimmy, if you’re reading this, its been what? 5 years? Thank you. Mark too, even though he won’t read it, he is a big brother to me who understands so much with knowing so little. He just sees right through me. And my brother as well, who pretty much propheticized it all and has been there for me. Even mama Tip. In any case, I don’t show it or I don’t try to show it, I don’t let people into my heart so easily, because once you do this is what happens, they decide to give up on you. Give up…what a weak and horrible action.

This commercial with Lee Byung Hun would come up so often when i was in Korea! Always cracked me up. Love it :).

Departures - Memory